Pride in a Small Town
in defense of Pride, and in defense of my hometown
Every June I get so excited to celebrate Pride with my community, and then I remember where I live. I grew up in this small town and I moved back in 2021 after I graduated from college. When I was growing up I had queer friends, but there wasn’t really any LGBT+ visibility in our area. While I was in college I saw Facebook posts advertising a Pride event that never came to fruition due to Covid, but that was the first event of its kind that I can really remember around here. The month I moved back to town I came across a group that was passing out Pride goody bags in lieu of hosting a festival or parade. I happily signed up and got a bag full of flags, stickers, and all kinds of little treats delivered to me at my parents’ house. That seemingly minor interaction led to a whole bunch of things that I never would have imagined, but it was also the first time I really had Pride in my hometown. (Side note: my partner was the one who delivered that Pride bag, 3 years before we started dating! Crazy small town moment!)
That goody bag led to a series of events that culminated in my coming out to my family that summer. It was also the reason that I reached out to that same organization the next summer when I was looking to get involved with their Pride activities. 2022 was our first local Pride festival and it was magic. The turnout for both vendors and attendees absolutely crushed our goals and expectations. It was our very first festival and we had to close vendor registration weeks before the event because we physically ran out of places to put people. In 2023 we had to relocate to a larger venue, and we’ve remained there ever since. This year was our 4th annual event and it keeps getting bigger and better. The organizations and businesses that we partner with inspire me every day, and I’m so grateful to have gotten to know the most incredible people through this event.
An unfortunate side effect of having more eyes on us and our event is the increase in backlash we’ve received. I’m involved in event planning and organizing for several nonprofits and Pride is the only event where we have multiple conversations dedicated to safety plans and security measures. This is my only event where we have to monitor social media comments to make sure people are just calling us names and not actually threatening violence. While our organizers are used to this, it’s something I would rather shield the general public from as much as possible. Our event is very family oriented and features carnival games, face painting, bracelet making, and other activities. To put it plainly, it really sucks that we have to have a security detail to protect folks drawing with sidewalk chalk and putting glitter on their faces.
At first I was afraid of the backlash. After a few years of the same old nonsense, I’m just disappointed. I’m disappointed because I know this town that I love so much is capable of more kindness and compassion than we’re shown. There is plenty of small town neighborliness that means folks will wave when they pass you on country roads and will strike up a friendly conversation at the grocery store or the coffee shop. For some reason, they forget about that sense of community when it comes to Pride. There are plenty of people that show up in comment sections to defend us, and I’m forever grateful for those fighting what feels like an endless battle. However, there should be no reason for us to need that defense in the first place. When did we become so comfortable telling our neighbors and those that we share a community with that they’re going to hell for who they love? When did we decide that it was okay to tell our clients, our customers, our service workers that they don’t belong here?
I have always believed in the power of community, especially in small towns. We cannot build a community that stands for anything if we’re dedicating this kind of time to attacking our own neighbors. To those who feel the urge to comment something hateful on a Facebook post, I urge you to put the phone down and stop by one of our local Pride events. Grab a snow cone, get some free merch from vendors, and talk to some real people that you share your community with. You don’t have to become a card-carrying GSA member, but we do all live here together and we should act like it. I know it can be uncomfortable to step into a space that you are unfamiliar with, but at its core Pride is about togetherness. This town is my home too, and I have the right to gather with my friends as much as anyone else here. Next time you want to be mad that gay people are throwing a party in your town, take a moment to consider that you could just decide to come have fun with us instead. It is never too late to show more kindness and compassion. We will always be here, Pride will always be here, and you’re always welcome to join us at the most colorful party around.